| (no subject) |
[Dec. 16th, 2008|12:29 am] |
"Last night was exactly what I needed, and I'm going to try my best to leave it at that. New clothes, sweet shoes, babes and countless drinks too many. Oh, and it was an unbelievably gorgeous night out as well. We walked home barefoot, stopped in Trinity Bellwood Park for a bit, and got home just as the sun was coming up. I felt like I was fifteen all over again standing in the grass, tipsy, in the middle of the night with good people and dreamy boys." May. 25th, 2007|7:40 pm
Déjà vu. A year and a half later, and it’s this exact same feeling, same boy, only a different location. It’s strange how you can feel something so strongly, and then immediately stop, put it on hold for over a year, and then somehow be back. So many people have come and gone, but there has always been this constant soft spot held in the back of mind. But, maybe I’m just trying to focus too much on the good. And if I am, it’s only because I need to. The past two weeks have been indescribably hard. I’m feeling everything I wish I wasn’t. A lot of people are slowly making their way out of my life, while some old faces are maybe coming back. It's a strange transition, especially knowing that not one single friend of mine called me on the day I had to say good-bye to my Nana. I will never see her face or hear her voice again, and nobody was there to see if I was okay. It’s these things I know I won’t forget. I never knew I could miss someone everyday like this. She really was a wonderful woman. I need to stop.
 |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Oct. 2nd, 2008|05:14 pm] |
I just participated in an anti-Stephen Harper video. Dawn, you must be so proud.
ORLAN, and if you don’t know who she is, you’ve clearly been living under an art-free rock for the past two decades, and therefore beyond my help. Anyway, ORLAN is the artist OCAD has brought in this year to give an artist talk. As a mostly photo-based artist she’s been running a photo workshop and a few of my classmates were in it, and they’ve made a piece this week for Nuit Blanche. It’s an arty protest against Harper. It sounds pretty awesome, and it’s happening at midnight this Saturday. And I’ll be briefly in the film they play at the same time. Hot Diggity.
I learned to make some really adorable books this morning.
Got completely soaked in the rain this afternoon.
Had the most delicious coffee.
Found $7 wine ON SALE.
Nearly cried listening to "Dreamin' Man" - Neil Young
Finally picked up my student loan.
Became a radical.
Read a huge chunk of a fantastic book.
I’m spent. And getting shitty at Mod Club tonight.
OK?
I’m going to miss being a student. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 30th, 2008|05:37 pm] |
Swiss Chocolate Almond Coffee. I'm in caffeine addict heaven right now.
And, this morning I had a spinach omelet. My tummy loves me long time today.
My brain however does not love me long time. I didn't need to do as much reading for school today as I did. I just know that right now is the calm before the storm and I need to get as much done as possible before the shit-storm known as Final Critiques starts. It's also the last full week I know I will have off before I start getting more and more hours at work.
Goody two, Goody two, Goody Goody two shoes
Now I have the rest of the week to shoot, and read for fun. My teacher recommended "The Diviners" by Margaret Laurence. It's pretty amazing so far. I've also started "The Evocative Object", it's a collection of essays about objects used for memory, inspiration, desire, and mourning. Very interesting and helpful for thesis ideas.
Things are good. I spend several hours a day in the library reading, researching, getting things done, and filling myself up with thoughtful movies, and big ideas. I'm really trying.
1. Danny Lonely Blue Boy - Conway Twitty
2. Carolina Drama - The Raconteurs
3. This Diamond Ring - Gary Lewis
4. Mona Chimes - Greg Leisz
5. Poison Cup - M.Ward
6. Walking After Midnight - Patsy Cline |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 27th, 2008|07:51 pm] |
Today I wore the heels I wore when I stood across from Jimmy Page. Today was a good day. I woke up early, had some toast and coffee, and watched Les Biches. Then to the bank to sort some things out, then to the library for research, then finally to the grocery store. I found an interesting book on Kiki Montparnasse, not school related, but still interesting. I found a good book on hair from 1830-1930, it’s going to be school related, and I’ll let you when I figure it out. I cleaned out my closet when I got home, it felt so good to throw out and re-organize this afternoon. The fact that I enjoyed cleaning is further proof that I am actually a forty-five year old woman.
I start a new job tomorrow morning, I’m excited for money, but dreading retail all over again. Everything is going well in that mature, I need money, I need school, way. I handed in my first book assignment and was told it was very elegant, and that I had strong images. I’m on top of all my readings, even in Biology class. I’ve already started my first photo assignment and signed up for the first critique group. In that sense, everything is straightening itself up nicely. Other parts of me however are getting a little more complicated each day. It’s my own fault, and I know that. I think there’s parts of it I really need right now and I’m trying to figure out if it’s because I know I can get what I want out of it or if I actually want it. I don’t know, I’m not a bad person, so maybe I should stop.
On that note I watched Paris J’Taime last night. I cried a lot. There was a story where a single middle-aged woman goes to Paris by herself, she’s happy on her own, but at one point she’s looking out onto the city and wishes she had someone to turn to and say “Isn’t that beautiful?” I don’t want that moment. I don’t want that something missing. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 21st, 2008|09:31 pm] |
This was clearly the week from hell, and the only proper way to end such a week is, The Dance Cave. Plus, Dawn and I had a very important birthday card to deliver there. I made friends with vodka for the first time in a long time. It was a good night. I met someone who could easily fall under the tall, nicely dressed, charming category if it wasn't for the fact that this happened at Dance Cave and if I didn't have to use my "Steve Miller is a deal breaker" line. It's true, he is. If you can't appreciate it, than no deal, I'm done. Well, kind of.
Home to Burlington to celebrate my Mum's birthday. I made her and my sister play photos outside in the backyard. It's going to be for my first assignment in the Body & Lens class I'm in this semester. I hope it works out. I tried shooting them on slide film, my Diana and my digital; I'm a giant paranoid nerd. One of these better work!
I'm exhausted. I'm getting in bed to eat apple slices, and do my Biology homework.
I hope this week turns out better than last. There are promising things about to happen, I can feel it. I just hope the old problems of last week fix themselves up, I do better, and make no repeats. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 17th, 2008|02:41 pm] |
Anthony Goicolea – Almost Safe
September 17th to November 2nd, 2008
Monte Clark Gallery
Opening Reception:
Wednesday, September 17th, 6-8 pm - Artist in attendance. Artist talk:
Friday, September 19th, 2-4 pm
Ontario College of Art & Design
Rm 230 Central Hall at 100 McCaul Street I'm going to the talk on Friday. I think it's only open to us OCADers, too bad for you guys. Who wants to come out to the opening with me tonight? It means missing Top Model, I know, bummer. But it's going to worth it. Ya? ARE YOU COMING?
|
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 17th, 2008|09:39 am] |
News of my missing wallet has made its way back to Hamilton and into the ear of my Nana. Poor thing has called my Mom a few times, and is very worried. It's nice to see some people care about these things. And after hours spent between the Bay Station Lost & Found, Service Ontario and school I am still nowhere closer to piecing back together my little wallet. At least I was smart enough to keep my MetroPass in my pocket. Except now every time I step on the TTC I've turned into one of those old ladies clutching her bags with a death like grip and glaring evils at everyone and anyone around her. Now I know these grumpy old ladies aren't all grumpy, they've probably just encountered theft on the TTC. The benefit to having NO money, ID, and a broken computer is that I can't go out to do silly things and yet I'm also forced to leave the house to avoid crying over my broken computer. Needless to say hours, and HOURS were spent in the library. I'm now completely caught up in Biology, Feminist Film & Video, and The Body & The Lens. Not that any of that counts for anything. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 16th, 2008|09:51 am] |
Out one wallet, up one computer virus. Half my life neatly organized in a little orange wallet are now somewhere sailing off on a Dundas streetcar while all my precious photos & words are being eaten up by a virus.
Not only was my wallet almost new, it also had my half my life in it; drivers license, health card, SIN card, student card, debit card, cash, gift certificates, locker # and combination, and one cheque for $100.
Then I come home to find an empty purse, and a giant virus on my computer. If my wallet contained half my life, surely my computer had the other half; school work from high school through to OCAD, essays, photos, resume, music, personal images & words, everything. All of this could potentially be gone by the end of the week.
This weekend could leave me with no ID, money, or memories.
I'm trying to be proactive about this and piece everything back together, but honestly, for the most part I've been sitting in bed covered in tears not knowing what to do. I don't even have money to take the train home and cry to my mother.
Thank you to those who have been supportive.
And to the rest: if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 5th, 2008|03:11 pm] |
A few good things about having room-mates, more specifically; having MY room-mates:
1. They will ALWAYS wear fake FBI badges with you 2. They will pretend to be assistants of Entertainment editors at the Globe & Mail 3. They will lie to movie PR people to get information 4. They will inform you when you've been asked out on dates and didn't know it 5. They will take you to Sonic Boom on Thursday nights and play you songs about dicks 6. They will get smashed and stay out dancing on work nights 7. And they will let you label your garbage and recycling bins Scully & Mulder
A few things I've learned in the last two weeks with Craigster and Dawnda. Good work House of No!  Aw shit, YOU GUYS!
edit: please ignore striped shirt "friend" in background |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 3rd, 2008|03:19 pm] |
I'm such a wimp sometimes. With two pages left of The History of Love I burst into tears. I couldn't help it. I don't even know if they were happy or sad tears. Or tears for the book itself, or tears for the fact that it's over and it was probably the best thing I've had in my hands in months. It's made me crave romantic novels, good men, sandy beaches, dark hair, deep accents and old stories in foreign countries. Every other page punched me in the stomach with a weird feeling of happy and sad, and a need to be somewhere other than Toronto. It really made me miss the library; the thing I'm looking forward to the most about going back to school.
On the bright side of crying on my break, I was at least crying over free pizza from Dante's. One of our client's brought us about a million boxes of this super yummy pizza yesterday for lunch. There were tons of leftovers still today, so ta-da, free lunch.
Then I went into Indigo to look for something new to cry over:
The Memory Keepers Daughter
http://www.amazon.com/Memory-Keepers-Daughter-Kim-Edwards/dp/0143037145
Everything is Illuminated
http://www.amazon.com/Everything-Illuminated-Jonathan-Safran-Foer/dp/0060529709
Broken Record Technique
http://www.amazon.ca/Broken-Record-Technique-Lee-Henderson/dp/0141005688
Moral Disorder
http://www.amazon.com/Moral-Disorder-Stories-Margaret-Atwood/dp/0385503849
Broken
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Broken-Daniel-Clay/dp/0007270135
Which one? |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 2nd, 2008|08:52 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | the super friendz | ] |
 Dear little interweb friends, I feel like I’ve been over this a million times, and you’ve all already heard the story. I moved to this apartment a few months ago because my last one was bad; bad people, bad feelings, bad place. I moved so I could start a cleaning process of ridding myself of all bad things. And yet here I am four months later spending my Sunday morning dealing with text messages, phone calls, and e-mails from former room-mates and landlords. I washed my hands clean of that place months ago and never looked back. Whatever is left is no longer mine, and it’s garbage. Luckily in the end it was seen that way and a trip to Bellevue was spared. Only I’m missing one very large Photography textbook. I left it there, and now it’s missing. Thanks.  Other than that things are really good, but I’ll be brief. I finally had dinner at Mercatto. I got absolutely smashed at Mod later that night, somehow managed to drag myself to work the next morning. I kept my shit together and miraculously made it through the day and back out again that night for a “Leather Daddy” themed birthday & going-away party. Cleaned, and cleaned the next day and now my apartment shines like a new penny. Movies with Burlington friends. Sleeping in. Reading a Rita Hayworth biography in bed. Train rides in peace. Afternoon naps. Chocolate. The Hills. Listening to a lot of Cut/Copy. It's strange to see music from this decade on my iPod. Applying for part-time jobs. Everyday. All day.
Work is a drag but only three more days left. Seven days til school.
And that pretty sums me up as neatly and nicely as possible this past week. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Aug. 27th, 2008|10:39 am] |
"To my supporters, to my champions - my sisterhood of the travelling pantsuits - from the bottom of my heart: Thank you. Thank you because you never gave in and you never gave up."
Come on, seriously. How is this woman not already President? Well spoken, intelligent, ballsy as hell and now apparently she's hilarious. I won't get into all the reasons why I think she is fantastic, but seriously, she's handled some pretty sticky situations with a lot of grace and dignity when most couldn't. Also, does anyone else remember how hilarious she was with Amy Poehler on SNL. Seriously!
 |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Aug. 21st, 2008|12:16 pm] |
Just the other day I was whining about how I haven't seen any Synchro yet at the Olympics this year. I was getting pretty bummed out, thinking I was being lazy and missing it. Well, it turns out CBC has only been airing it in the middle of the night! Monday through Wednesday the Duet trials, and finals were aired every night at three in the morning! I know, I know, the time difference. But they didn't even re-air them during the day. Come on now!
They're doing the same for both of the team events too.
This means I'm waking up at three tonight, and coming home early from drunken dancing at Stone's Place or Dance Cave to watch synchro. I rule. And if it's not already obvious you should know I'm not just a fan... I'm a former competitor, and kind of a big deal. Well, no. But I only participated in two maybe three sports growing up so I have to be passionate those few. You should see me during the Figure Skating... SCARY!
 Just to clarify, if it's airing on Friday at 2:49am, that really means tonight at that time. Yes? Please don't let me wake-up in the middle of the night for nothing!
This blog was supposed to be about my photography, other photographers and silly art & fashion related things, and yet somehow it's been turned into this space for me to rant about work, getting drunk, Jack White, and now apparently gush about Synchro. I'm sorry, guys.
ZEPPELIN UPDATE: Jimmy Page & Leonna Lewis will be performing Whole Lotta Love at the closing cermonies! |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Aug. 20th, 2008|03:10 pm] |
"Some rock 'n' roll royalty is being featured in a new high-profile documentary - and when it gets its World Premiere at the Toronto International Film Festival, all three are expected to walk the red carpet. It Might Get Loud looks at the story of the electric guitar from the point of view of three guitar rock icons: U2's The Edge, Led Zeppelin's Jimmy Page and Jack White of the White Stripes."
Jack White is coming to the Toronto Film Festival this September, and as if that wasn't boner inducing enough, JIMMY PAGE is probably (I think definitely) supposed to be coming as well.
HOLYSHIYGUYS!
My two favourite future husbands on a red carpet, in my city, TOGETHER. Aw, shucks.
I plan to spend that whole week attempting to follow them around with fingers crossed hoping to catch the two of them holding hands or getting all makey-outty for my viewing pleasure. Or at least getting close enough to yell "I LOVE YOU BOTH IMMENESLY AND EQUALLY AND WOULD BE TOTALLY HONOURED TO BARE ANY OF YOUR CHILDREN. CALL ME FOR DETAILS, GUYS!" I hope "The Edge" is there too, ONLY so I can ask him politely to remove his silly cap. It's not cold. He's old. Time to loose the hat, my dear man. And ask if how much he cries at night knowing he will never be as cool as Jimmy Page or Jack White.
It could happen.
I think we all know what happened when Mr. Robert Plant came to town... |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Aug. 13th, 2008|04:57 pm] |
My job usually involes a lot of silly running around downtown, either going between banks, or offices, and in some cases running up to Bloor to get last minute wedding gifts for the bosses. During all of this running around in the more businessy and somewhat adulty area of the city I've noticed more and more funny looks and little stares from people. In my horribly insecure state of mind I assume these looks mean I have something in my teeth, my hair is sticking up funny, I have a hideous stain somewhere or my underwear is showing. You would be shocked to know just how many times I catch myself looking down to check if my underwear is showing. Most people look down to see if their stockings have a run, or their fly is undone. But for me, nine out of ten times I will have a run in my stockings so I've moved past caring and looking. It's also rare to ever see me in jeans, it's a once every two weeks thing, and in most cases yes, my fly is undone, so again I'm past checking.
Today I had enough. I stopped in First Canadian Place, checked my teeth, my hair, and searched for any underwear sightings, or unsightly stains, and found nothing. Then I looked around and finally figured it out. Standing in the middle of the hall I realized that I was at least (or what felt like) a foot taller than everyone. It was a little shocking. It's not like I just woke up this morning and realized I was tall, I've known my whole life I'm a giant. But I'm usually with friends who are close to my height, and I'm usually in flats. But good God tonight, how did I not realize I'm towering over half the Bay Street population?!
I think I actually mouthed, "WTF" to myself. Then had to scurry along to the bank because someone at the office left it to the last minute, which left me running to the bank and getting a stern warning from the bank people about being here before four even though it was not my fault, but that's another story.
I guess this post is going nowhere. I was just horrified to have not realized what a giant scary freak I am. Or at least to realize that it's something short people notice immediately and choose to awkwardly stare out on their lunch breaks. Seriously, WTF guys. Give a girl a break. Or I will kick all your teeth in with my giant sized leg, you manky toads!
 |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Aug. 6th, 2008|05:25 pm] |
|
 Is it bad the highlights of my day have been spending an hour on the subway going to William Ashley and listening to an awkward boy's message on my voicemail? Wait did I say bad, I meant sad. Horribly, horribly sad. Especially because these so-called highlights will be topped off by Rock of Love and Wife Swap episodes later tonight.
I was told to head up to William Ashley to pick up a receipt for an order placed by one of my bosses, they gave me cab slips but my inner poor student jumped in and said I had a metro pass. I'm so used to not having my own money that I can't even comfortably spend somebody elses. WTF But hey, taking the subway wasted a lot more time. Especially when I took it heading the wrong way and had to back track. I didn't even do that on purpose.
 As for the message on my voicemail. Oh dear god. This young, young, and did I mention young boy phoned me. The first time I was napping. The second time I was working. And now I'm faced with the message. While part of me loves this, as it totally fulfils my secret cougar desires, the other part of me knows the right thing to do is set the kid straight and let him down easy. I'm torn. Do the right thing or live out cougary fantasy?! Between comtemplating this big life descision and picking up a receipt for $3,500 worth of plates and bowls, and spending over two hours googling Jack White... well, boy. I've just had myself a terribly interesting day. NOT!
Actually forget ALL that, the real highlight of my day was this morning when I heard Dawn yelling from her bedroom window as I waited for the streetcar. I didn't have my glasses on and assumed Dawn was just practicing her regular morning routine of singing Donovan's "I Love My Shirt". And I figured she was yelling because she was home alone and free to sing as loudly as she pleased. It turns out she was actually yelling at me because she noticed I forgot my lunch. Oh Stacey....
Which reminds me... I have a delicious lettuce, cheese, and hummus sandwich waiting for me at home in the fridge.
Photo Note:
1. I'm making that Laker face right now as I'm about to sneak out of work early.
2. I hope Dawn&Kelsy are making those faces as they read this. 3. My boobs are not really that bossomy. Don't thank Mother Nature, thank PMS. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Aug. 5th, 2008|10:51 am] |
The worst week this summer was nicely finished with the best weekend of the summer. This evening out of good and bad usually never happens for me but it was a wonderful and much needed surprise. I almost always attempt a weekend of staying drunk and dancing after a bad day, or bad week, but it almost always NEVER happens and I instead spend the weekend crying, eatting spoonfuls of nutella and aggressively cleaning. I can say that minus one small episde of lying in bed having a good hard (but brief) cry, none of that happened!
Friday night I had a delightful nap, headed to the LCBO, back home for Steve Miller, Donovan, beer, getting screamed at by a psycho face Thing, and then dance cave dance cave dance. I've always had a soft spot for the Friday night Dance Cave DJ; he's really mastered the Drunk Girls Wanna Dance Playlist. Seriously. But, Friday I was absolutely blown away, except for when he told me I was too young to be requesting Steve Miller. Bullshit, I say! He played two Zeppelin songs for us, Prince, two MIA songs, Beatles, and White Stripes. Hello, is that not my getting ready pre-drink playlist?! Amazing. We met funny people, and stayed til the end.
Saturday was just about the same. We drank large amounts of wine, gossiped, played games in the kitchen, and went to Mod Club. It was a slow start, but picked up nicely in the end. Heard every song I wanted to hear for the night, including Maxine Nightingale (honestly!). Lots of free vodka & soda all night. Silly dancing with my little Kelsy, followed by 5am bagels, and talks of boat cruises. Don't ask, I don't remember |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 31st, 2008|12:56 pm] |
 I knew it was bad when this morning I didn't hope for a great day, or even a semi-decent day, but instead hoped just not to be shit on as badly as I had been the rest of the week. It's been a long week. I don't know if it's the rain, the hormones, or me. But, I can see it in my eyes, and feel it in the way my shoulders are slumped over. Walking past a window this morning on my way to work I could see it all staring back at me in my posture, and barely recognized myself. I'm feeling so beaten down right now, and it's showing. I don't know where to begin and if I were to attempt a list of all things bringing me down it would probably bring me to tears right here at my desk. I spent most of yesterday sitting here and quietly trying to hide the fact that my hands were shaking. There's a terrible mess waiting for me this month, and for once it's not all my fault. I'm feeling a great deal of betrayal right now and all three parts of it are family. On top of that work has become horrible, at least this week. I'm shocked at the way people can treat one another in an office environment, and I'm really scared about the lack of social graces people keep in their adult years. It's all really discouraging. I don't know how to fix this problem at home, and how to deal with these things at work. Some of you are helping, and I appreciate that. Others are only making me more miserable. So, thanks.
Allison, your drawings lightened my mood last night, thank-you. You're wonderful.
Dawn, you rule. You're also very wonderful. I want to rub a ham sandwich on your face. And I look forward to spending my weekend drunk & dancing. Maybe finally shooting that roll of expired slide film sitting in the fridge. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 28th, 2008|12:25 pm] |
 This morning I woke up to find out that my ankle had swelled up to the point of it appearing as though I have stuffed an orange down my leg and it has made its way all the way down to my ankle. This of course is horribly unattractive for someone who already feels she is experiencing the first signs of cankles. AND is someone who must spend her entire day in a skirt, showing off her swollen ankle, excuse me, cankle. It started Friday night when I came home from X-Files, and I couldn't stop scratching my leg. I thought it was nylons from my Scully costume, and I took them off, but still could not stop scratching. Violent, nails dragging repeatedly over my skin kind of scratching. It took til Sunday night for me to realize it was two horrible, and large mosquito bites bunched together on my ankle. One would assume that these happened sometime Saturday afternoon while I was trapesing through farmer's fields taking photos with Kelsy. But, like I said this started on Friday night. WTF.  You might be wondering about the Scully costume, and the running through fields, barefoot no less. I can explain. The Scully costume was for the X-Files movie. It was mostly out of this sick need to try and be Dana Scully, my love of putting together costumes, and my love of making a scene in public, which by the way Dawn and I successfully did. Now, the sneaking into the fields was Saturday and that was because for weeks now I've had this new idea for my "twins" series I've been slowly working on. I've decided these "twins" were now going to be spooky farm girls. Yes, they've moved from the middle of the road and into the field. The problem was that some of the fields had giant "No Trespassing" signs, and equally large and intimidating, "Beware of Dog" signs. This of course did not sit well with Kelsy and I had to reason with her that it's no trespassing if you go by foot, and if you only go a few steps past the sign. Right? Kelsy and I also found this terrifying abandoned farm house from the late 1890s. We both had goosebumps the entire time we were there. Unfortunately the creepiness of the empty house, didn't quite translate into the photos, so I haven't posted them yet. I like the idea of these "twins" wandering through abandoned homes, fields, and streets so I will try this again. I also used my Diana, so I'll post those later as well.  http://www.flickr.com/photos/27267550@N00/ |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
xbojanglesx's journal